I've been quiet. Contemplating. Taking stock of my life. Perhaps losing someone is a message to do just that. T lived each day, full and colourful, kind and compassionate. How good is that? Wonderful I'd say.
Sometimes I pity us who are left with a memory...a good memory though. Who will nag me to write in this blog site? Who will urge me on to craft more, even if the work isn't good? Who will encourage me to take chances?
The memory of a good friend will. It's difficult because if I had not once again searched for T, I would not be experiencing the heartbreak that I am now. But...I would much rather have had the last year together and be heartbroken than not to have spent what little time we did together.
I miss the daily MSN "good mornings". I miss the blogger news. I miss everything. But that is life. We are born to die and what matters is what you did while you were here.
My friend did it all and I once told her how happy I was for her life now. She deserved it. She made it happen. She was positive and ever moving forward.
So now I am going to craft and I am going to journal. I've been saying that for a few weeks now but I will begin. Tonight I "organized" all my projects so everything is right and ready when the urge or time presents itself. That's half the fun, organizing everything in nifty little labeled Ikea boxes.
Winter - a time to create.